Adieu & Goodbye

In case you have missed the hoopla, today is Bob Edwards last day hosting NPR’s Morning Edition. NPR has been prepping their faithful followers for the past two months for the upcoming change. In an odd way, it makes me remember the turmoil surrounding PBS when the host of Blue’s Clues was replaced. It will be strange to no longer hear his calm reading of the news on my way into work each morning, to no longer listen as he jokes with the interviewees. There will be a new host, of course, but it can never be the same.

Farewell, Bob. Traveling mercies.

Weekly Rundown

All the work to be done on our project must be entered on my computer. It has been an interesting week trying to share one computer amongst three employees. Actually, it’s been a bit nutty, but we’ve gotten some good laughs out of it.

My church is having a yard sale this weekend so I’ve spent most evenings trying to sort. I was kicked off the pricing team very early in the game. Basically, it’s that I don’t know how much anything cost new and then I was pricing Levi’s at $2.00. I also learned that DKNY is another brand to price high. Now I am on the sorting team which they can’t kick me off of because there’s no where else for me to go. They are training me though. Did you know that the Limited only carries women’s clothing? Don’t tell anyone, but my new friend Steve and I took a democratic vote for some questionable items.

Finally, last week through a series of events, I ended up informing my old church why I no longer attend there and I am a little worried on how this will be received. I think I’m much more worried than I was originally. If you are of the praying sort, this might be a good thing to pray about – and something I would gratefully appreciate.

Laugh-In

We have now come to that part of our programming where our faithful readers (yes, all two of you) are encouraged to leave their latest joke. (Yes, all two of you.) I will start off – and in all fairness, I must admit that I stole this from an Anne Lamott essay. [Writing is a Mental Illness Salon.com 5/29/96]

A Sunday School teacher asked her class one autumn, “What’s grey, gathers acorns, and has a long, bushy tail?” And this little kid says, “I know the answer is probably Jesus, but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me.”

Turning and Turning in the Widening Gyre

I have been deconstructing for months now, deconstructing almost everything I’ve ever taken for granted: culture, religion, knowledge, etc. As my pastor has informed me, I am very good at deconstruction – not so good at putting things back together again. Below is my first attempt. I have called it “An Idealist’s Ideal Christianity.”

My pastor says that it can be supported by scripture and in a way I believe this is true, but almost anything can be supported by scripture if you tweak it enough. However, I do think my point hold up under a true study of scripture. “So what’s the problem?” my pastor asked. The only answer I can find is, as good as I am at deconstructing, I find myself unable to separate Christianity from the visible church and until I can do so, I am lost. I think I feel like the version of Christianity that I reject has Jesus on their team since I can at least attempt these twelve things on my own. Besides, they want to be with Jesus in heaven; I want to see things become better here on earth.

It’s strange, I am the only person who has been through membership class (twice) and not joined the church. I also have not taken communion for months though we take it every week. Yet, with the exception of two (not counting the pastor), no one has asked what’s going on. However, I'm sure that I haven’t helped matters – I’m pretty good at hiding.

Anyway, here is my essay. Feel free to leave any comments as long as they are not the Four Spiritual Laws.

An Idealist’s Ideal Christianity

When I think about what I want in Christianity, the first thing that comes to mind is a line of W.B. Yeats that reads, “And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow.” I’m exhausted from the constant militantism of the church - “Protest abortion & gay marriage!” “Don’t let Satan win the battle!” “Rid yourself of all sin!” “Don’t become tainted by the world!” “Onward Christian Soldiers!” I know it is impossible to live in this world without resisting some events and views, but still I just wish we could stop and listen - even breathe sometimes. I want for it to important for us to move slowly, to be conscience of the fact that we are alive. I want the time to enjoy what life offers us: the taste of good food, the beauty of a weed I just pulled, the different views of this world found in literature, music & movies. If I’m extremely honest, I want more than to just enjoy them - I want to revel in them. What’s the point of having eternal life if life is secondary to our “mission”? I want to be commanded to live fully.

I want there to be a grand purpose in the ordinariness and everyday routine of life. I want our daily tasks to have meaning - washing dishes, commuting, taking out the trash, feeding animals, watering plants, cleaning toilets. This is what we do for most of our life - why must these things be seen as wasted time? In the same line, I want us to esteem those folks who do these ordinary tasks for their livelihood. I want us to see that driving a bus is a noble profession - how else would many of us do our work if we weren’t driven there? I want us to hightly esteem the cleaning staff - they wash away our dirt and grime and create order out of our chaos. I want us to listen to people with rough speech and little education since they often carry a lot of hidden wisdom. I don’t want us to pity these soceity servants (unless there is a reason for pity), but to recognize what they give to us.

I want us to grieve for the fact that things are not the way they should be. I’m tired of the excuse that “this is what happens in a fallen world.” I want us to be disturbed that our national consumerism can create sweatshops and shut dow homegrown industries. I want us to be disturbed that there are people on death row who did not commit the crime for which they were charged. I want us to mourn the fact that people are still judged by their social status, their accent, the color of their skin, their nation of origin, their education - and I want us to refuse to justify our prejudice by means of someone’s work ethic or national security. I want us to mourn the fact the church no longer cares for beauty and does not know what to do with art unless it reflects our worldview. Most of all, I want to keep the bar so high for these things that we will never be fully satisfied until all is put right. This does not mean that we don’t rejoice when things become better, but that we don’t use the betterment of these issues as an excuse to stop trying. However, even though I do want us to act and to change things, I want this do be done with compassion and love, not with militantism [see point one].

I want the people in the church to be honest and open. I don’t want to perpetually feel like I’m the only one that doesn’t get it. I want us to be able to say that we have screwed up, that we don’t understand, etc. and I want others to expect from us to be so broken and lost that they are not shocked or overly worried when they find out that we are. I want people to believe that I can and will do awful things, that I am two steps from falling off the edge, but that isn’t everyone? I want us to be able to love each other in spite of, or even because of, our weakness and our dirt.

I don’t want spirituality to be something we go to or that is otherworldly. Instead I want spirituality to be something that meets us here, that is merged into our corporal life - this-worldlly. I want spiritually to work in a palace, a slum, and a neighborhood grocery store. I want a spirituality that enables me to be even more attached to this world than those who believe in nothing else. I want to be able to experience spiritualness in my day-to-day life. I want it to be something I can sense, taste, touch, feel.

I want for us to have a sense of history. I want us to know both the bad and the good that we have done. I want us to know both the good and the bad done to us. I want us to understand how our surroundings came to be as they are. I want us to know what to hang onto, what to leave behind, what to repossess, and how to make up for what we should never have done.

I want us to actively apply any doctrines we hold to - even if we fail miserably at it. If loving our neighbor like the Good Samaritan is agreed on as good, then I want to see us risk being swindled or taken advantage of. I also want to see us apply these doctrines to the institutions we are part of - company policies, politics, economics, etc. However, I am scared to say this too loudly because it seems like the church esteems being “good” above all things. I don’t want us to be be moral people, but to do good in reagards to on justice, poverty, love, & beauty.

I want us to respect all people’s ideas regardless of their status of believer or unbeliever - at least until their ideas are proven to be ridiculous, harmful, or contrary to what we can support. I want us to look for glimmers of truth in everything and everyone and then to affirm these loudly. I want our affirmations of truths held in common to overpower our disapproval of untruth.

I want the church to be on the frontlines of all good things happening in our societies. This doesn’t mean that all of us will work on all things, but that, as a collective, we will be part of all things.

I want Christianity to loose its image. Instead I want its image to be similiar to the assumed image of families who have children in public school or of people who might go to the dentist. I want us to be so varied in culture, appearance, and opinion that the general public would have no assumption of was is “Christian.”

I want Christians to be an intelligent people in accordance to each person’s capacity. I want us, again as a collective, to be well versed in all things. I want people to assume that, if someone is a Christian, that they will have good reasons for thinking as they do and that they will listen to and consider any ideas, even if there is the possibility that the Christian could be proven wrong.

Finally, I just want the church and spirituality to be, well, normal. I’m tired of revealing myself as a Christian causing people to wonder why I allign myself with societal freaks. I’m tired of sharing a name with people who don’t know what to do with this world. I want other Christians to be (outwardly) stained and dirty from spending too much time in the world. I want other Christians to know how to interact with the varieties of people we come across in their lifetimes. I don’t want to worry when I introduce a Christian friend to my general aquantance. I want to walk in and out of Christian settings without feeling that I need to restrain myself. I want consistant rules that I can use wherever I am. I just want to be one person in all situations. I want to be a Christian, an intellectual, a radical, an idealist - all in this world. Is this too much to ask?

Get Back Temptation

…I won’t follow you no more. [Ollabelle]

Can this really be? Emmylou along with Buddy Miller along with Gillian Welch & David Rawlings along with Patty Griffin...is anyone else crazy enough to spend a fortune This may be the only time to see five of my heroes in one night. However, if you think about it, it's only $5 per artist...now that’s a real steal! (Pst...tickets go on sale tomorrow!)

And She's Back From Outer Space

I will eventually update this template which I never finished. You'd think fifteen months was adequate!

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One night of running merch, plus the hint that I could be helpful and – schromp! – I’m sucked into helping musicians again. I'm beginning to see that this is a serious addiction. Something grabs hold of me when I see an artist with great potential that it struggling because of the dregs of booking, finding directions, etc. My mind starts to automatically sort through any contacts I have that could be helpful. Basically, if an artist does not have to work as hard at finding shows and promoting their music, the better a musician they will become. Plus, there’s just this sense of satisfaction when you help out with a show and things go really, really well.

On top of this, people become strangely open at concerts. They want to tell you their hopes and dreams and disappointments – especially if you are working at the show. Maybe it’s because you are a stranger and they don’t have to worry what you will think about them later. Maybe it’s because you are participating in a dream of sorts and they think you will understand them. It’s wonderful, for a couple of hours, you get to see a working community that is beautiful and you get to participate in it.

Last time I jumped into this music thing, it encompassed my entire life and I became sick of the whole business. This time, I keep telling myself to start small, work with one or two people, don’t commit for long periods of time, but tour-by-tour – at least while I have a full-time job. Plus, it’s just easier to work for people you really care about. I may gain a sense of satisfaction when I see a talented artist succeed, but this is increased ten fold when the talented artist is my friend. Of course, I have no strong hopes that this will become my livelihood and, though it would be great to do this for a living, I’m ok with this as a hobby. For some reason, this has become a part of who I am and it’s nice to have my hands in it again.

So what do the rest of you guys do for fun?